If I had told myself 10 years ago that I'd be writing a food blog, I would have told me to firstly piss off, and secondly ask what a blog is. If I had then suggested that I might include some vegetarian dishes, that would have been the icing on my meat cake.
But here we are, here you go and wallop! It actually tastes great. I can't believe it.
If you are Vegan btw, well sorry but I just can't. Thank you Nigel Slater and Delia for some of these techniques.
Baked Onions in Double Cream and Parmesan (Nigel's)
Black Olive, Spinach and Dijon mash (mine)
You need a lot of butter for this dish and a safe heart!
Serves 4
Mash
1KG Maris Piper potatoes
50g unsalted butter
100g black olives
2 big spoonfuls of Maille Dijon mustard
Young spinach (biggest bag you can find)
Salt and pepper
Ground nutmeg optional
Onions
1 large onion per person
50g Unsalted butter
500ml Double cream
Shitloads of freshly grated parmesan.
To garnish, a picture of The McCartneys.
Peel the potatoes and chop them quite small. They boil quicker and mash easier. When you boil these, cook them until they are done and then add another 3 minutes. If you want them creamy and light, no point in under doing them and if you're worried about losing the nutritional value, since when did potatoes have any? Chips, crisps, waffles, do me a favour.
Peel the outer layer of the onions and place them in a pan of boiling water so they are covered. Simmer for 20 mins. This is really important as it kills the rawness of the onion and induces the natural sweetness that we are looking for. Turn the oven on to 180c.
After 20 mins, take the onions out with a metal spoon to hurt yourself, a spatula if you're an idiot, or a slotted spoon if you come to this party prepared for fun. Top and tail the onions and if you have tongs, or a thick clean kitchen towel, hold the onions and slice in half.
In a smallish earthenware dish (or something bulky in weight), butter the bottom and lay the onions, flat side down in it. They should be bunched with few gaps and your aim is to pretty much cover the halves with the cream. Pour over the double cream. Salt, pepper and then batter them with parmesan.
Cook in over for 40-45 mins until golden, bubbly and looking irresistible. In the meantime...
In a blender or with a sharp knife and patience, pip the olives if they haven't been already, (isn't that a pip? ;) and create a finely chopped mush. Boil the potatoes to smitherines. When you are about to add on my advised extra 3 mins, chuck in the spinach and wilt the leaves. Drain quickly and return to the pan with the butter, salt, pepper and the mustard. Now you might need a little of the double cream used for the onions in the mash, or a little milk, or even water at a push just to mash it down. You want it creamy, silky, but not slimy and watery. Mash it up and keep tasting. Add more salt and mustard for a kick and bite.
When all done, (and serve this away from the table as it splashes and hurts), a coupla spoons of nicely stacked, green, white and black mash, topped with the golden colours of parmesan, lashings of double cream and sweet baked onions will bring it home.
An optional salad of leaves, squeezed lemon and fresh shaved parmesan will bulk this out and add flavour, colour and feed those vegetarians closer to the point of satisfaction which they will always strive for and never quite reach.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
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